One of the most common feelings couple may experience on their wedding day is the wedding day nerves! I see this all the time as a Boulder wedding photographer. Before your wedding day you will more than likely feel the stress of everything bubble up into nerves, stress, or even some butterflies. From wedding planning to creating a new family dynamic it's a lot of change! There is a lot of stress that can pile up, and you need to calm pre-wedding nerves so that you can think clearly and go into your wedding confident! Whether it’s you, your significant other, or a friend of you who is going down the rabbit hole, you can rest assured knowing that you’ll have some advice from your friendly Boulder wedding photographer! Don't let nerves take away from the importance and magnitude of this once in a lifetime moment.

When You Have Pre-Wedding Jitters

While you may be stressing because this is one of the biggest decisions of your life, I'll encourage you to try and breath. I understand this is not something you're taking lightly. Also, you’re going through it right now! There is so much to do when planning a wedding. You’re stressed and probably a little done with the whole process. Wedding planning helps you to understand why some people skip the big day to elope. Nevertheless, you can get through this and make this one of the greatest times of your life!

So What do I do? 

What does anyone do when they're stressed? This Boulder wedding photographer likes to indulge in some self care! Take some time off from wedding planning and give yourself a few days to decompress. Take a bath and binge watch your favorite comedy on Netflix. Take some time to focus on self care and stay away from all wedding planning thoughts! Doing things that interest you in your free time instead of worrying about your wedding budget, seating charts, and so much more. Taking a moment to breath can really help! Get back to the things that make you, you. Whether that's a night of yoga, a day of manicures and massages, or hiking with your partner. This short season of life is meant to be enjoyed.

Think about the reason you said yes (or proposed) in the first place. Why do you love your partner? Why are they the one? Think about your favorite memories and fun times together. Go through all of the past photos of you two. Reminisce and think of all the ways you have grown together! When we take a look at the happy moments, we can remember why we are going through all the craziness leading up to your wedding!

Talk with someone about how you’re feeling. It helps to talk to someone, but especially someone who has been through what you’re going through. Try to talk to someone you look up to who has a healthy and stable marriage. They might have some insights on how they cope with stressful moments. Not sure who you can talk to about all the wedding day crazy? Lean on your partner. After all, they're in the thick of it too!

If you’re having pre-wedding nerves because your relationship doesn’t seem as magical as it once was, try to reconnect. Take some time together and do something special. You can try spicing up your dates, there are a lot of ideas online, or even as your Boulder wedding photographer for ideas! Oftentimes we try and curate lists of our favorite things in the area to come up with suggestions for our clients! If you’re fighting more, it might be the stress of wedding planning. Try to be understanding and have healthy communication on the situation.

When Your Partner Is Going Through It

The biggest thing I can suggest, is talk to them and help them understand that this is normal! Pre-wedding nerves are normal! This does not mean you’re going to be left at the altar. It’s a big decision to make and sometimes once the initial shock wears off, you’re given time to sit in your thoughts. When they realize the gravity of it all, it makes it a little scary. And it’s okay! Be there for them and work on this together. 

It’s so important to not get too stressed or scared when they bring up these feelings. It takes a lot of courage to be so open about fears and anxieties when it comes to marriage. Acknowledge their efforts and validate their feelings. Most importantly, give them the floor and just listen. Validate their feelings first, and then you can tell them where you are coming from.

When Your Friend Comes to You With Pre-Wedding Jitters

The most important thing to do when a friend comes to you in confidence about their pre-wedding nerves is to just listen. There is no need to say anything at first.  A lot of the time they just need to vent and get their feelings out! As long as they’re not 100% spiraling, you’re good to just sit back and nod.

If the friend asks you what you think, the first thing you should do is validate the feelings. Go back to their points and just say “I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way” or “That is so difficult.” Don’t offer any advice, just make sure your friend knows that they’re heard. If they do start to spiral a little bit and they’re about to call off this wedding, keep them grounded! Talk about the things that they’ve shared with you in the past about their partner. Make sure that your friend isn’t only focused on the bad or stressful aspects, but that they’re thinking about the reason they wanted to get married in the first place.

These tips will help you to begin to navigate through your pre-wedding nerves. Remember to focus on the good and be open with those feelings. And when you get back to wedding planning after you’ve taken time to cope, let me know. I’d love to help make getting those photos stress-free for you.